so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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