So drunk its hurt
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
