omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
