Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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