can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She made me pour olive oil on her.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
