some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
