sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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