So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
