I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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