If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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