Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
