Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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