one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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