hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
