Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
