At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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