Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
