i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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