trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
