I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
