if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
