so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
