She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
