My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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