Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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