at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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