the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
