Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
