Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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