Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
