no, he came in my armpit
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
