two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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