I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
