dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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