FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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