She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
