How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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