why do cheetos always look like penises
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
