if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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