please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
