so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
