Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
