You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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