I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
