it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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