Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
