Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
