i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
