i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
