Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
