No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
