im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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